Groaner Warning – Geometrically Progressive Too
Alimentary: What Sherlock Holmes said to Dr. Watson.
Attenuate: What Bo Derek says to less attractive women.
Barium – What you do when the patient dies
Benign: What we want when we are eight.
Bunion – Paul’s surname
Carpal: Someone you drive to work with.
Castrate: The going price for setting a fracture.
Cauterize: What the intern did before he winked at his date.
Constipation – Endangered feces
Coronary – Domesticated Yellow Bird
Cystogram: A wire sent to your sister.
D&C – Where Washington is
Denial: Where Cleopatra used to swim.
Dilate: To live long.
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone.
Enema – Opposite of a friend
Fibrillate – To tell a small lie
Fundi: What Princess Diana was before she met Charles.
Hernia – Pertaining to a female’s knee
Hippocampus: Where a hippo gets a degree.
Humerus – To tell us what we want to hear
Inbred: The best way to have your jam.
Intern: One after the other.
Intestine – Currently taking an exam
Migraine: What a Russian farmer now says about his harvest.
Nitrate: What MTNL charges after eight PM.
Node – Was aware of
Outpatient – A person who has fainted
Ova – Finished; done with
Pap Smear – To slander your father
Paradox – Two doctors
Penis – Someone who plays the piano
Pons: A popular face cream.
Rectum – Dang near killed him
Sacrum – Holy
Seizure – Roman Emperor
Sperm – To reject, look away from
Testes: What you order when you don’t know what the patient has.
Tolerance: What you get if you give growth hormone to ants.
Urinate: What a nurse would say if a patient asked her what room he’s in.
Urine – The opposite of “You’re out!”
Vertigo: How foreigners ask for directions.
White Count – The number of caucasians
ANALLY: occurring yearly
ANTIBODY: against everyone
ARTERY: the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria
BANDAGES: The Rolling Stones
BOTULISM: tendency to make mistakes
BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
CAESAREAN SECTION: a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN: searching for ones lost kitty
COLIC: a sheep dog
COMA: a punctuation mark
CORTIZONE: the local courthouse
ENTERITIS: a penchant for burglary
ER: the things on your head that you hear with
FIBULA: a small lie
GENES: blue denim slacks
G.I. SERIES: baseball games between teams of soldiers
GRIPPE: what you do to a suitcase
HANGNAIL: a coathook
HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space
HERPES: what women do in the Ladies Room
HORMONES: what a prostitute does when she doesn’t get paid
IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known
INPATIENT: tired of waiting
INTENSE PAIN: torture in a teepee
LABOR PAIN: hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFF: a doctor’s cane
MINOR OPERATION: somebody else’s
MORBID: a higher offer
NITRATE: lower than day rate
NODE: was aware of
ORGAN TRANSPLANT: what you do to your piano when you move
ORGANIC: church musician
OUTPATIENT: a person who has fainted
PARALYZE: two far-fetched stories
PATHOLOGICAL: a reasonable way to go
PELVIS: cousin of Elvis
PHARMACIST: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
PLASTER CAST: the drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert
POST-OPERATIVE: a mail deliverer
PROSTATE: flat on your back
PROTEIN: in favour of young people
RECOVERY ROOM: place to upholster furniture
RED BLOOD COUNT: Dracula
SALINE: where you go on your boyfriend’s boat
SCAR: rolled tobacco leaf
SECRETION: hiding anything
SEROLOGY: study of English knighthood
SURGERY: a reason to get an uninterruptable power supply
STERILE SOLUTION: not using the elevator during a fire
TABLET: a small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS: getting sick at the airport
TIBIA: country in North Africa
TRIPLE BYPASS: better than a quarterback sneak
TUMOR: an extra pair
VARICOSE: very close