Transitioning In Times of COVID
Written by: Meaghan Lightbody-Warner, LCSW
The world feels so unknown right now and many families are faced with conflicting decisions, – do I send my child back to school, how do I manage remote learning, how much is too much information for my child? As a parent, you may have already made these decisions and are now trying to decide if the path you chose was correct. Some are striving for “normalcy”; the things we used to do before COVID was a thing. There are many different viewpoints out there and it is easy to feel judged or question the choices your family makes. The truth is, we must do what we feel is best for our families.
We all know the coronavirus has caused major disruptions to our daily lives and our children are feeling these changes deeply. The return to school this year is different than what children are used to, or what anyone may have been expecting. As a family, we are trying to adjust. Whether you have chosen to send your child back to school, or are continuing on the path of remote learning, we are all in this together, and listening to our children is one of the most important things we can do right now. Many children have felt isolated these past few months, and the start of this school year can be scary and anxiety provoking for children. Have open conversations with your children about the return to school. How are they feeling about this change? They may be feeling nervous or reluctant, or some may just feel relieved. However they feel, support them and encourage them; reminding them of the positives of these situations. Gently check in with your children regularly, as emotions are going to change and by creating these open opportunities, you show them that it is ok to talk about what’s going on. We must remember that children often take emotional cues from adults in their lives.
The College Transition Collaborative has put together some practical suggestions on how to communicate with our children/students about challenges they are facing related to coronavirus.
- Normalize the experience of finding the current situation difficult and upsetting
- Convey compassion and understanding for students’ concerns and challenges
- Reassure them that these are highly unusual times and teachers, principals, school counselors and parents are learning how to handle it, together
- Validate and address their concerns or questions as well as possible, given the information available, and the child’s developmental stage
- Acknowledge that the situation is changing quickly, and that solutions are changing as circumstances change
- Connect them to places where they can get updated information as plans continue to unfold
The Collaborative also provided some guidance on how to respond to common thoughts and questions:
| What they say | How You Can Begin to Address It
|
| I’m scared.
|
This is an unprecedented and difficult situation. It is completely normal to be scared. Could you share more with me about what’s worrying you?
|
| What is going to happen
with [plans not yet solidified]? |
I don’t know the details, but what I can tell you is that [school name] is working on a plan to address this. It would help me to understand how this impacts you. What are you most concerned about related to [plans]? |
| I’m having trouble
concentrating.
|
This is such a tough situation. I think anyone would have trouble concentrating under these circumstances. I am here to support you. Can you tell me more about how this is impacting you? |
Our children rely on us to set the example on how to respond during this global pandemic. We must continue to remind ourselves that we are strong and will get through this. Don’t forget to ask for help if you need it. Continue having age-appropriate open conversations with your children about what is going on, that way they feel comfortable in coming to you. We will get through this!