Pandemic Parenting: New Year’s Resolutions for the Whole Family
Considering we’ve just survived another year with COVID, making resolutions might seem a bit silly. If anything, most of us are probably busy thinking of ways to distract from the fact we’re still stuck in pandemic mode. However, setting goals at the beginning of a new year is a great way to motivate growth. Still, given all the chaos of the past two years, it’s fair to choose things that will improve our lives and keep us sane. Therefore, prioritizing mental well-being should be a part of the resolutions for every member of the family.
Resolution 1: Health is (Mental) Wealth
All of us have experienced mood swings when we’re sick or in pain. We’ve also seen how anxiety or depression impacts our immune system, energy level, and appetite. Our minds and bodies work together–when one is thrown off, the other follows. That means if we want to feel mentally strong, we need to treat our bodies with just as much care. It means having regular meals, sleeping enough every night, and being active. If you get sick, you give yourself adequate time to rest and recover. Avoid harmful substances or behaviors. No, that doesn’t mean skipping on fast food or becoming a gym rat, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps keep everything balanced.
Resolution 2: Find New Habits
We all have good and bad habits when it comes to dealing with stress. How many of us overeat, oversleep, or watch endless hours of shows or movies? While those coping mechanisms work in the short run, they take a toll on us both physically and mentally. On top of that, children tend to learn their coping skills from those closest to them. You’ve likely noticed which of your habits have helped you get through the pandemic, and which ones made things worse. Take this opportunity to assess which habits to nurture and which to unlearn. There are many self-help books and websites that teach healthy strategies, but you can also consult any therapists or psychiatrists who are treating you or your family for additional advice.
Resolution 3: Choose Short-Term and Long-Term Goals
One of the reasons why people ultimately fail at keeping their resolutions is because they set their sights on something too intimidating, or something that will take too long to achieve. It’s easy to get frustrated when you don’t succeed right away. Take weight loss, for example. It’s a lot more challenging to think about losing, say, 50 pounds than to work towards losing 2 pounds a week. What about wanting your child to be a better student? They might need to learn how to consistently turn assignments in on time, or how to study effectively first. If you can reach your smaller goals, you’ll feel more accomplished and stay motivated to push the limits further.
Resolution 4: It’s About Progress, Not Perfection
Another reason why many of us give up on our resolutions every year is that we have an all-or-nothing mentality. We make ourselves feel ashamed or guilty over every little mistake. That kind of thinking creates a spiral of negativity we struggle to get out of. Rather than focusing on what you didn’t do, notice what you did right. Maybe you didn’t exercise today, but you ate a healthy dinner. The same goes for your child. If they didn’t bring home a good grade even after studying hard, praise them for their effort and work together to come up with ways to improve. It’s important to remember that growth is a journey. Sometimes we lose our way before we make it to our destination.
Resolution 5: Be Kind to Yourself
You know that saying “you’re your own worst critic?” We’re all guilty of saying “but” or “I still need to” when someone compliments us while working towards a goal. This is especially true if we come across a hurdle, or we push the goal post back. We’re so stuck on what we haven’t done rather than paying attention to the hard work we’ve put in. Instead, the next time you’re in a rut, ask yourself: would I be this hard on a friend or family? If the answer is no, then you should rethink the way you approach yourself. To echo what was said above, it’s an important lesson to learn, as children learn how to treat themselves by watching their parents or other adults around them. Being gentle with yourself will teach them to see themselves with kindness.
Yes, there will be more challenges going forward into 2022. However, with a focus on maintaining mental well-being, this year can still be a happy and healthy one for you and your family.
Written by: Jennifer Yen, MD